It has been a while since I’ve written a blog post. After I wrote The Miracle Morning for Parents and Families, I was under the impression it was something I should do. Other authors I admire and wanted to model have blogs and write consistently, so that is what I should do too, right? One night close to midnight, I was stressed about getting my blog post out “on time” and my sweet husband, Mike, gently took my hands and looked me in the eye and asked, “Lindsay, what are you doing?”
I didn’t know it at the time, but I’ve come to discover, I am a huge people-pleaser. His question stirred a swirl of thoughts in my brain. I said I would post a blog every week, this is what “good” authors do, this is what’s expected of me, I’ll let my readers down! I replied, “I'm writing a blog post, it’s due tomorrow.” He looked confused, so I tried to make it more clear to him, “I said I would write a blog post every week and it comes out on Friday so I have to finish this tonight so it goes out on time.” Again he just stared at me in confusion. He could tell I was stressed, so he proceeded cautiously, but his words felt like freedom,
“Who says you need to write a blog post every week?” he asked.
“Well, I said I would.” One of my core values is integrity, so if I say I’m going to do something then I will bend over backwards to make it happen.
“And why does it have to be every week?” he asked.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t. I just picked that because it seemed pretty standard and what other authors are doing.” This seemed like a perfectly reasonable explanation in my mind but in reality I had no idea what was “standard” in the industry or if there even was a standard. It was probably something I had heard at a business conference somewhere but the difference is I wasn’t selling books to make money. That was a happy side effect but not the main goal for us.
“So, if you make the rules, do you really need to finish this tonight? Why don’t you come to bed?” The bed did look inviting.
“Well, I don’t want to let my readers down.” I said matter-of-factly. And then came the innocent question that shot a bullet into my heart, but also freed me from the burden I had created for myself.
“What readers?”
This question stopped me in my tracks and shrouded me with doubt. I’m sure there is a way to actually track that information, but as someone who is not very tech savvy, I had no idea how many people actually read my blog. When I first started blogging, I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. I was doing it for others. I was doing it because it was expected that an author would write a blog, but why? I did it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do, but I didn’t particularly enjoy it. It stressed me out and as a busy mom with two kids, I already had enough of that in my life.
After that night, I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to keep up with blogging. Mike helped me realize it was a stressor I didn’t need in my life. After that night I only blogged if I got the same question over and over again, because it was easier to put it in a blog post I could share than type out the same response multiple times. Now, however, I have grown and learned a lot about myself over the past few years and I’m ready to dive back in on my own terms. At almost 40, I am finally learning to feel my feelings and follow my heart. I thought about writing another book, but that idea tied my stomach in knots.
I thought, maybe the knots are because of excitement, but when I got quiet I heard a voice that said, “why don’t you start smaller and start blogging again?” That idea opened my heart and true excitement poured into my heart and this blog post is what poured out.
I’m not committing to blogging on a time frame, but I’m excited to share some lessons I have learned about myself over the past couple years and as they pour out of me, I will pass them along to you. I actually don’t even care if anyone reads these words because now this blog is for me. I shared a journal entry with a friend the other day and she was really touched by my words. I think I was given a gift of words to encourage others with the lessons I am learning. If these words encourage even one person then it has all been worth the effort. I have never written to be known or make money but only to positively impact others lives and that is my wish for this humble blog moving forward.
If you have found your way to this page, I’m grateful you are here. I’m grateful for the freedom Mike gave me that night with his questions and that he has always wanted the best for our lives. I’m grateful my kids are older now and don’t need me as much, so I can have more time to fill up my cup to be the best mom I can be. I’m grateful for these words that flowed through me onto this page and that they may give you permission to let go of something arbitrary in your life that is stressing you out. Have a blessed day,
Lindsay